Monday, January 31, 2011
Is There Life after Death?
Meeting ‘God’ in the Physical
Here we begin with The Process, with one of The First Moments I faced – within the Year of 2004 when I was 18 Years of Age, going into 19 – that has assisted/supported me within and throughout the Process I have walked from the Physical, into the Heavens and now still continuing to walk in, as and with the Physical. So – let’s start walking:
A couple of us, actually only a handful - were gathered-together one-Evening. We every now and then had such evenings during which we came-Together and explored the current-existence of ourselves as Human-Beings, shared experiences, insights and perspectives and generally investigated the dimensions and realities of who, how and what we are as the Mind. Within that, also how we’re able to live/exist more functionally, practically and stable within Reality and within that also to look-into the why’s as questions of ourselves, our realities and existence as a Whole.
Thus, in essence – walking a process of questions, investigations and explorations into and as the current-existence of the totality of ourselves as Human Beings, in relation to ourselves, each-other our environment/world and existence as a Whole.
It was within/during one such evening – that I experienced a Moment in the Physical. It’s an experience in the Physical, with the physical – in which I faced the actual-reality of the Physical as it existed and still do exist, in fact. I didn’t then, completely understand the Reality of what I facing in that Moment with the Physical and that it was the Physical-itself that I was facing, seeing and experiencing.
However – my experience in that Moment for me was so Definitive, that the Certainty of me standing within and taking a certain position/stance within the Process that was to be walked ahead, was Absolute. I may have experienced a Absoluteness, a Certainty of/as Me in and as that Moment, with the Moment – however, simultaneously it was my Introduction into and as Reality, wherein I slowly but surely started realising that – Experiencing something, is entirely different to actually Living something – a Point within and as which I have fallen many times, as one walk through the Process of learning, through Reality – what is the Mind as Illusion and what is the Physical as Real, as Here.
Obviously, also then - in that Moment, I didn’t understand/know the full implications of what I was seeing and experiencing as I do now, however – it was a Moment within which I has seen and experienced a Potential for myself, for humanity and the World that I had not even known, conceived could exist or materialize into a actual reality.
So, as we were sitting there, communicating – with each-other and together; Bernard sitting in silence observing everyone, which he’d do with a half-smile and gentle, yet Intense eyes – which made me experience curiosity, cause I experienced him auspiciously intimidating.
He then called my name: “Sunette”, I turned and he asked: “Come here”.
I was bewildered for a Moment, that he’d ask me to come to him – it was a mixed-Reaction, yet again of curiosity and fear and for a Moment questioned whether I’d heard him correctly in relation to what he’d asked, so – I frowned and he asked again: “Come here – sit infront of me”.
My reaction in that Moment was due to the existent-Statement within me, as then living-acceptance of myself, as: “Me, why me? Really?” The existence of such a Statement within-me, due to my entire past when it came to Human-relations/interactions within which I was always the ‘invisible, overlooked’-one, participating but never noticed/considered, insignificant to the world and that of others. Which generally fuelled my eagerness and yearning to please others to get noticed, considered and experience myself as being a ‘part of’ something.
Well, this yearning to be a ‘part of something’ and the eagerness that fuelled it, would within my life-experience be transformed into a self-expression, a self-living that I would never have conceived possible. Well – as they say: “Be careful what you wish for”...
And, so – with my eagerness pumping my heart, my fear churning my intestines and my curiosity rushing through my veins, I stood-up, moved myself and positioned myself to sit cross-legged in front of Bernard.
I initially sat a few inches away from him, within the starting-point of ‘not wanting impose’, as this was also a general consideration I would project towards others – always remaining a few inches away with regards to intimacy and physical-closeness, due to the perception of ‘not wanting to impose’. Which was a fear that was existent within me as resistance because of experiencing myself ‘not knowing’ where I stand with people, so - I’d initially take the stance of resistance/standing-back completely, not imposing/engaging but pleasing until ‘they invite me in’ and so secure my stance towards the other – which is how I approached relations with people back then.
So – I took my stance of ‘not imposing’, remaining a few inches away from Bernard to which he responded: “No. Sit closer. Knees Touching”. This then prompted me to move-through the fear/uncertainty of myself towards him in relation to where I stood with him in that Moment and I immediately moved closer –knees touching.
Fascinatingly enough – I felt comfortable and calm the Moment I was positioned closer, crossed-leg with knees touching. With Physically-moving through that resistance as uncertainty and fear – I moved through the actual energy-possession experience throughout my body and was here, with the physical.
I felt empty, Stable – could actually now Feel my Body which was warm and slightly sweaty as I was sitting directly in front of Bernard, with our knees Touching, my hands in my Lap – his arms resting on his legs.
He always looked so physically comfortable with himself, whereas Me – I could never find a position in my own Physical Body in which I felt comfortable or at ease. Yet – he would sit within and as his Human Physical Body – as though his Physical-Body is positioning-Itself into and as a Positioning-Posture of/as Support For-him.
So, as we were sitting there, he asks: “I want you to look at something for me. I want you to look into me and tell me what you See.” And, in that moment – during/after he said that, he straightened his shoulders and back, positioned his Posture to stand more ‘upright’, turned his wrists so that his hands face upward, tilted his chin slightly upward, and so – physically-moving to ‘open himself up’, opening himself within-himself. I didn’t in that immediate-Moment see what it is that he’s preparing to / opening within and as himself in the Physical, though – the immediate physical-change/physical-movement as-him was that of revealing/opening himself.
So, I closed my eyes – squinted them with a strong-frown, submerged my shoulders to lean forward with much intensity, preparing myself to look into-him with and as, much specificity as though I’ll be searching for something to see, like go on a internal-quest within him to find something to see.
So – obviously within my very approach / application of the request I would not see anything – because I went into separation with/as myself, from the perspective of – instead of Looking, as in being here with and as him in the physical within and as me and Looking at what I see, here as him as me; I went into the application of the word ‘Look’ as a ‘Searching’ – so I searched to see something, instead of Looking as Seeing, Here as self.
So, after a Moment I replied: “I don’t see anything”. Bernard – with his Intense eyes and No-nonsense voice said: “Look again” – motivating me and pushing me to not ‘just accept’, but expand-myself. So – I looked again.
Meeting ‘God’ in the Physical – Part Two to Continue...